In order to understand this blog and its direction you need to look back. My experience of a faith crisis was hell. It was dark, frightening and my past spiritual experiences bit me as I attempted to move forward. In my faith crisis I explored atheism, was unsuccessfully recruited to Sovereign Grace, and tried to figure out who and what I am going to be. I honestly thought my life would go the agnostic and atheist path. I never planned nor intended for it to be a Christian one again.
My East Coast Mom told my story at her blog The Wartburg Watch in August 2014. My story is broken down into three parts. The first is my religious and evangelical Christian history, which is followed by a faith crisis and dealing with doubt. You can read that part of the story here. The second part of the story involves exploring atheism, wrestling with my past evangelical experiences – especially with John Piper, declaring myself to be agnostic, and experiencing a medical crisis. Against all this I befriended and got to know a Care Group Leader at Eric Simmons Redeemer Arlington. Andrew White, who is a military officer, spent over two years trying to recruit me into Sovereign Grace. You can read about that part of the story here. The final part of the story deals with a horrific betrayal and false accusation Andrew White gave birth to which I managed for 13 months. While managing that situation Andrew White focused on recruiting another person to Redeemer Arlington. Against that I hit bottom and managed an extremely difficult situation. All I wanted Andrew to say is “Eagle I am sorry…” During that time I realized I needed to repent for my pain in the faith crisis and repented, and sought forgiveness from nearly 140 people. I did it all across the board from a Catholic Priest to a Neo-Calvinist Pastor and everyone in between. I played no favorites when I did this process. I was baptized at Fairfax Community Church which was my first church experience and home in years. However, due to issues and concerns I eventually walked away from Fairfax Community Church. The situation with Andrew White is the only Christian relationship outstanding where full reconciliation has not occurred. I’ve approached Redeemer Arlington in trying to resolve the situation and they have been helpful. I’m still praying for this mess to be resolved. In addition I have about 4-5 people who never responded, I think one of them is in a faith crisis and others have walked away from faith. You can read about my story here.
One last thought….if my life crossed paths with you in California, Montana, Wisconsin or Washington, D.C. and I hurt you and need to repent and seek forgiveness please let me know.
In the sermon below given by Greg Marshall at Westbrook(Outside Milwaukee, Wisconsin) you can hear my faith crisis being talked about for a few minutes.