Learning to Hate Yourself. A Reflection on the Forever War Against Lust and Pornography Among Men in Evangelical Culture and the Destroyed Lives Left Behind

The New York Times has been writing about the profile of the Atlanta shooter and his “sexual addiction” battles against pornography and lust. Anyone who spent time in evangelicalism will identify with his purity battles that he dealt with.  In the “forever war” against pornography the battle with lust is long, exhausting and soul crushing.  Males inside evangelicalism realize that they often can’t win. And they are also caught in the dilemma of wanting to date but fearing of becoming sexually active while they do. Accountability is often a means of control and a weapon used by people in ministry. The culture against porn often uses fear and warns that if you look at pornography you too will become just like Ted Bundy and a serial killer hunting women down out of compulsion. Its known as the “forever war” and in evangelicalism it leads to PTSD, anxiety and other issues. Continue reading

My Brainwashing and a Personal Reflection on When I was Under the Kool Aid in Campus Crusade for Christ at Fresno State

This past weekend I was cleaning at home and fond something that was a window into my past. It was when I was involved in Campus Crusade for Christ at Fresno State. An article in the local Fresno State newspaper explained the role Wicca played in a person’s life. In response I had to write an evangelical response in a letter to the editor which caused controversy. Someone later on called me out. Today’s post is about my frame of mind when I was under the Kool Aid. And its something that I deeply regret.  Continue reading

Of all the Scandals Written About at The Wondering Eagle, Bryan Loritts is the Most Disturbing. Here’s Why

As I am writing about Bryan Loritts I thought I would step back and explain how destructive Loritts was to myself when it came to evangelicalism and church. I went from a period of admiring him to realizing he is a conman. This is the story of how a 24 year old grad student went from looking up to Bryan Loritts to realizing he is a fraud. Continue reading

Review of the Cru Winter Conferences for 2018 and 2019. Matt Mikalatos, Tara Beth Leach, Brandon Washington and Rasool Berry Are Some of the Featured Speakers

This is the annual review of the Cru Winter Conferences for 2018 and 2019. This looks at all the speakers, and agenda. It appears as if the conferences have improved. There doesn’t appear to be as much of a Neo-Calvinist agenda, and the celebrity pastor appears to be absent. The Wondering Eagle is pleasantly surprised as to how the Winter Conferences are this year.
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Writing About an Email Exchange with Anne Marie Miller in December of 2015 When Reviewing Cru’s (Formerly Campus Crusade for Christ) Christmas Conferences.

The Wondering Eagle had an email exchange with Anne Marie Miller in December of 2015. It came about because this blog annually reviews and writes about Cru’s Christmas Conferences. In an email exchange she discussed being the victim of a sexual assault. Between then and now Anne Marie Miller decided to go forward and make the report against Mark Aderholt. Continue reading

Anne Marie Miller’s Alleged Sexual Abuse by Mark Aderholt, and Did the Southern Baptist’s International Missions Board Cover it Up? Plus David Platt’s Response

A disturbing scandal comes out of the Southern Baptist Convention’s International Missions Board (IMB). Its the story of Anne Marie Miller and Mark Aderholt. Aderholt was a student at Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary who groomed and sexually abused Anne, Anne in time realized the severity of the situation and the IMB was notified. They did an investigation but did not report Aderholt’s alleged abuse to law enforcement. As a result of the #MeToo situation Anne had the courage to file a report to Arlington Police in Texas. Today’s The Wondering Eagle looks at this disturbing story.   Continue reading

The Wondering Eagle Reviews the December 2017 and January 2018 Cru Winter Conferences. Some of the Speakers Include Jim Davis, Sam Allberry, Tim Muehlhoff, Kirk Brower, and D.A. Horton

The Wondering Eagle reviews all the Cru (formerly Campus Crusade for Christ) Winter conferences for 2017 and 2018. Baltimore, Minneapolis, and Denver have became healthier. Meanwhile Cru’s SE Winter Conference has some concerns which I explain in the post.  Continue reading

An Open Letter to Eric Pauls

An open letter to a friend of mine in Fresno, California. I met Eric through Campus Crusade for Christ at Fresno State. He has deeply impacted my life and tonight I just want to step back and reflect on a friendship I have known since 1999. Through crisis and hardship Eric has blessed my life deeply. That showed itself again in the lobby of St. Agnes Hospital amidst a medical crisis. Thanks for your friendship Eric.
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