Paige Hilken Wife of Chris Hilken of the EFCA’s North Coast Church in Vista, California Commits Suicide. This Blog Extends its Condolences to North Coast Church and the Hilken Family

/ wonderingeagle

Paige Hilken, the wife of Chris Hilken of North Coast Church committed suicide. This blog extends its condolences to the Hilken family and also the North Coast Church community and the EFCA as well. 

“People lose people, we lose things in our life as we’re constantly growing and changing. That’s what life is is change, and a lot of that is loss. It’s what you gain from that loss that makes life.”

Thomas Jane

Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn.

Romans 12:15 NIV

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Yosemite Valley

Larry Osborne announces Paige’s suicide.

This morning I was sitting through an EFCA service here on the East Coast. This blog which writes about the EFCA denomination planned to take notes and do a review. That’s not going to happen. Midway through the service my Android started going off and when I looked at the blog I saw some really dark search terms which gave me pause. I stopped paying attention to the EFCA service where I was started to research on the internet and social media to find out more of what happened.

A Difficult Patch of Life for Paige Hilken

This blog is going to piece together what happened. Paige was married to Chris Hilken. This blog wrote about Chris Hilken and issues at North Coast Church in 2020. Allegedly it looks like Paige was diagnosed with a catastrophic disease last April of 2021. Keep in mind that what could have made the illness far worse is the stress of the pandemic that we are living through. It looks like Paige went through a mental health crisis and Chris took leave from North Coast Church to help out his wife. Paige was put into a mental health facility in Arizona and there she committed suicide. For me that also raises questions as to how a person in a mental health crisis could have committed suicide in a mental health facility. Paige leaves behind her husband and five children. There is a GoFundMe that has been launched which you can support here. Through Facebook Chris Hilken issued a statement which you can see below. 

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This Blog Sends its Condolences to the Hilken Family and North Coast Church

This blog wants to communicate to the Hilken family and North Coast Church its condolences at the loss of Paige Hilken. This is a tragedy in many ways, and this blog feels for the five children who lost a mother. This blog grieves with the Hilkens and those dealing with the pain of this loss.

34 thoughts on “Paige Hilken Wife of Chris Hilken of the EFCA’s North Coast Church in Vista, California Commits Suicide. This Blog Extends its Condolences to North Coast Church and the Hilken Family”

  2. FYI, Vista is north of San Diego, midway between Carlsbad (on the coast) and Escondido (on I-15) just south of Camp Pendleton.

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  3. This is heartbreaking. But my heart broke even more as I read and heard the news and like Columbo, just kept scratching my head and thinking, “There’s just something that’s still bothering me about this…” Literally, the first thought was, it can’t really be a “top-notch mental health facility” if someone kills themself at it. But there are other things that are very troubling. This reminds me so much of the tragic suicide death of Bethany Deaton who was part of a cultish bethel offshoot. There’s just something not quite right or believable…

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  5. This is so sad I am in disbelief. She posted that she did have covid back in January and a lot of people end up with psychiatric diagnosis and other long term effects that just become unbearable. I wonder if there is any connection to that, I’ve read that even some celebrities have taken their lives due to the suffering post covid. Wishing their family all the best, how tragic 😦

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  6. Yes, beginning of Jan 2021 she wrote about her Covid symptoms on her website (blog).
    https://paigehilken.com/blog
    Mainly Loss of Taste and Smell, Brain Fog and Other Nerological Issues were mentioned.
    In April 2021 she posted on her FB around Easter. That seems to be the last post on social media. In May 2021 was Chris Hilkens last sermon before he took a break.
    On the fundraiser (as of today has over 330k of donations), https://www.gofundme.com/f/help-the-hilkens
    it says” Paige Hilken received a catastrophic medical diagnosis in April that led to PTSD and other co-occurring mental health issues.”
    What was that catastrophic medical diagnosis? A friend of a friend of Paige told me she had blood clot and then suffered by depression and insomnia. Blood clots are no joke but can be treated. I wonder what else she had and why that would lead to PTSD?
    Can things go south so quickly and end up with suicide just 4 month later leaving 5 young kids behind. Its hard to imagine. I dont understand it…..I wouldnt be surprised if there is much more to the story that makes more sense.

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    • Holy cow your reply is super insensitive. Take a moment to be sad for a family who is grieving. Check out the most recent update on this blog if you’re your suspiciousness needs to be dissolved

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      • The aggressive comments you have make your user name “love” hilarious.

        Sounds like you need some love. Stop with the childish and inappropriate responses. Are you 12 years old?

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    • The church’s senior pastor said that now Paige is free from the demons that plagued her. I thought it was absurd, total disrespect. If she was physically ill, why talk about demons?

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      • If she was physically ill, why talk about demons?

        Probably just an expression, BUT…
        If The Devil Made Her Do It,
        It Can’t be MY Fault, can it?

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  7. Yes, this is what set off my alarm bells, as well! The GoFundMe said that Paige was in a “world class mental health facility in Arizona,” and the email sent to NCC members by Larry Osborne (forwarded to me by my parents who are members) called it “one of the nation’s best clinics.” So it’s a lot of positive adjectives but exactly zero detail. Not that we are entitled to the private medical details of other people, but something about the way this place is being described is off.

    Another thing that makes me feel weird: 3 weeks before her death, Paige posted an Instagram story highlight called “Update” in which she described her post-partum struggles with PE, insomnia and anxiety, then said she had recently undergone something called “Brainwave Optimization” and she had stopped all medications. From what I know of Brainwave Optimization, it is junk science and NOT a medical treatment for PTSD or PPD/PPA. It just gives me this sinking feeling that this mental health facility was not really a mental health facility, you know?

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  8. As I’ve followed her story, it sounds like she tried treating it without medication and holistically. It seems like if that’s the case did they withhold these options for her in treatment also? I’m wondering why they aren’t talking about post covid diagnoses with her when I see other posts. This is one place I feel like is seeking truth for her story. I’m worried they will try to bury this. Her husband posted about how he now feels its his new job to share about grief and moving on from her loss. It came off really not giving a crap about her. I think we need to be sensitive but also realize she might need some advocates to bring justice to this story.

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  9. In her celebration of life Chris mentioned that its expected for a pastors wife to have a side hustle….

    Does anybody know a “super-woman” (That’s what her father in law called her) that can handle homeschooling 5 young kids, running a business and find time for maintaining a social media presence as an influencer/youtuber/blogger? Plus always behave like the perfect pastor-wife. And don’t forget cleaning and cooking…..

    Personally, I dont know one woman (that’s alive) who can pull this all off….

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    • Plus always behave like the perfect pastor-wife. And don’t forget cleaning and cooking…..

      Don’t forget “Are We SMIIIIILING Today? Always Victorious in Christ – Scripture! Scripture! Scripture!”

      And one day she just – shattered – to the point that suicide was the only way to Make It Stop.

      P.S. She mentioned that one of her COVID symptoms was “brain fog”. This implies she had “Long COVID”, with long-term aftereffects and possibly permanent damage. The virus is as much a vascular infection as it is respiratory, inflaming the blood vessels enough to cause micro-clots in the capillaries (like miniature strokes). Which can result in long-term to permanent organ damage: lung, liver, heart — and BRAIN.

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  10. Why do we ask so much of women or men in the church? It is a travesty. It is like raising kids is not enough it is required we be all things and do all things. If you also work then on top of that homeschooling it feels like an impossible scenario. A simpler life is ok. For all of us. I feel like many young women who maybe even follow her will not speak out on the truth that they also are suffering. I hope we can give voice to her so not any more lives are lost to this zero sum game.

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    • Great comment Beth….totally agree.

      The church can thrive due to unpaid workers/volunteers. It starts with the pastor…his wife is expected to set an example for others. Give everything you have and more.

      I bet you Paige would have been just fine if they have had 2-3 kids and her being “just” a mom caring for those kids without all this other stuff.

      But no, they had to move into a 1.3M dollar house with 2.7 acres, 5 kids, goats, dogs, social media influencer presence, her own business(es) and, and, and…

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    • Why do we ask so much of women or men in the church? It is a travesty. It is like raising kids is not enough it is required we be all things and do all things.

      They already anticipated you, Beth:
      “I Can Do All Things In Christ Who Strengtheneth Me.”

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      • Exactly. Pray harder. Do all these other things like take essential oils and don’t medicate or try anything that might help. Like not procreating so often or much. The church abuses people for a namesake I would like to think is angry AF at how we treat them and everyone else.

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  11. This blog is appalling, these comments are disgusting and anyone proclaiming to be a Christian in these comments or creating this blog content needs to grab their Bible, reflect in scripture and dig deep to see why this is incredibly wrong. This is not a response comment as a defense for North Coast Church or Chris but for our Lord Jesus Christ. Paige has left this Earth and so for anyone to sit and debate the desires of her heart regarding the size of her family or the timetable creating that family is beyond disrespectful and clearly coming from people that didn’t know her. Paige was the most calm, patient and down to earth woman I have ever had the pleasure of sharing space with. The Lord blessed her with many talents and she did everything with such grace she never came across stressed out, overwhelmed or forced into any of the tasks that she took on in her day-to-day life. She was passionate! Even if everything that has been said about Chris in previous blogs on this site or in these comments is true this is not how Christ has called us to behave. Jesus is perfection, human begins have a sinful nature and fall short all the time no matter how hard we try. This is not why Christ went to the cross and rose again. We are called to uplift our brothers and our sisters to share love and spread the gospel. Judgment is reserved for the Lord. If something needs to be said to one of our brothers or sisters that is walking outside scripture it should be done in dialogue with that person with honor, respect and love. This blog is nothing more than slanderous gossip utilizing bits and pieces of information to try to paint a skewed picture of a person‘s character in the light they want others to view it. Not sharing all the facts and also not focusing on any of the good that has been done along with the proclaimed mistakes that are highlighted. Utilize the extra time and energy that’s put forth sitting behind a computer screen trying to break down another human being to actually go out to the community and do something worthwhile or work on your relationship with Christ. The world looks bleak because everyone is so focused on their own opinions and perspectives that they’ve lost sight of God.

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  12. This blog is appalling, these comments are disgusting and anyone proclaiming to be a Christian in these comments or creating this blog content needs to grab their Bible, reflect in scripture and dig deep to see why this is incredibly wrong. Paige has left this earth and so for anyone to sit and debate the desires of her heart regarding the size of her family or the timetable creating that family is beyond disrespectful and clearly coming from people that didn’t know her. Paige was the most calm, patient and down to earth woman I have ever had the pleasure of sharing space with. The Lord blessed her with many talents and she did everything with such ease and grace. She was passionate about her life, her family and her work. She never came across stressed out, overwhelmed or forced into any of the tasks that she took on in her day-to-day life. Even if everything that has been said about Chris in previous blogs on this site or in these comments is true this is not how Christ has called us to engage one another. Jesus is perfection, human begins are not and have a sinful nature. We fall short all the time no matter how hard we try. This is not why Christ went to the cross and rose again. We are called to uplift our brothers and our sisters, to share love and spread the gospel. Judgment is reserved for the Lord and no one else. If something needs to be addressed with one of our brothers or sisters that is walking outside scripture it should be done in dialogue with that person with honor, respect and love. Where both sides can be heard and actual facts are shared. This blog is nothing more than gossip utilizing bits and pieces of information in an attempt to paint a skewed picture of a person‘s character in the light they want others to view. It lacks to share all that has been accomplished and focuses merely on proclaimed mistakes. Maybe utilize the extra time and energy that’s put forth sitting behind a computer screen trying to break down another human being to actually go out to the community and do something worthwhile. Spend some of that time working on your relationship with Christ. The world looks bleak because everyone is so focused on their own opinions and perspectives and sharing them everywhere that they’ve lost sight of God.

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    • Reality, I am sorry you feel like that. This blog addresses issues many don’t want to raise and discuss. That said you are welcome to voice your thoughts. As the writer I will not censor you and allow different perspectives. How many evangelical churches will allow that? Few….

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  13. I return to this blog time and time again after what happened. I am part of a small group of youth who left north coast together when we became adults. I grew up there. Something about Hilken absolutely rubbed me the wrong way, from the moment I met him. As I start adulthood at university, I think back to the expectation that I was to be married with a child on the way right now. There are things about this story which I will never understand, but I do not believe for a second that North Coast is being honest. In some pockets and sects of their community, they are a borderline cult. May Paige always rest in peace, and may she be remembered for her godliness, patience, and kindness. However, some unjustice has happened. I know how the church treats mental health. Anyone saying that my comments are disrespectful does not understand how strange these events are. Ultimately, it is not my responsibility, but my heart hurts for Paige and all the good that she brought and could have brought to the world. They raised so much money after her death, and no one seems to be questioning. There is no news. I wish those I know and love could speak out about the sexual, emotional, and physical abuse that has occurred at the church.

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    • I believed there was way more to the story. There always is. And the money? Where was it going? I am not as upset at Paige or want to harm her legacy. She is a victim I believe in many ways and was trapped. But i am not there but I just feel something is off. I left Willow Creek when Bill Hynes scandal broke and shit went down. It was too much. I feel like they still aren’t honest about every survivor he harmed. He harmed people at the beginning so to say he didn’t harm people all along is disingenuous.

      As for Paige and her story, may God have mercy and bring her story to light so she can rest in peace. She deserves better. Thank you for vulnerably sharing parts of your story.

      We need more of you to shed light on this story.

      Have you contacted that organization that investigates church abuse? I can’t spell the guys name. But I think it’s GRACE or something like that. They investigated Hybels and do it for many other churches also to shed light on abuse in the church and bring healing.

      May you find healing for your story.

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  14. Has there been any updates on this? I’ve been interested in this story because I used to go to North Coast Church. My mom used to make me and my sister go until we were around 16 and she made us stop going, and later I found out why. They basically start grooming the girls to be wives; the men there who were in their later 20’s or even early 30’s would suddenly “start” dating the girls when they turned 18, but really they start when the girls are about 15 or 16 and don’t go public with it until they’re 18. My mom realized this and yanked us out of there. These girls get married around 19 or 20 and I noticed they’d all either drop out of college or don’t bother attending and just become mothers. If they did go to college, it was always a bible college, so basically they’d set it up to where these girls really didn’t have a back-up plan and had to rely on their men. It was a creepy environment, almost cult-like. There was just something off about the atmosphere. I remember getting into an argument with the of the pastor’s sons because the news was on and they were talking about a girl who got raped and he made these sexist comments about how the girl had no one to blame but herself because of her outfit. Then he started saying how it’s a woman’s job to satisfy men in any way they please and I remember a bunch of the men agreed with him. So there’s definitely something off about that church and I wonder if Paige got sucked into that cycle. Makes you wonder what really caused her PTSD; I don’t think it was a medical procedure alone that caused it.

    I also think it’s strange that they make this constant effort to emphasize that Chris put her into this “top notch” mental health facility but never say the name or give details. Wouldn’t they want to expose the place that clearly didn’t put enough precautions in place to prevent her from killing herself? Also did they ever state exactly how she committed suicide? Too many unanswered questions. And I’m sorry this gofundme seems sketchy too. $600,000, really? I get trying to raise money for a nice funeral and burial but why such an excessive amount and where is the money going? And what’s with Chris making every post about being a single parent of 5 and barely talking about his wife? Something is off here. And please miss me with this whole “don’t judge, that’s not Christian of you!” b.s. that I see in some other comments. Hiding the truth about Paige’s death isn’t very Christian either. RIP Paige, I hope you found the peace you deserve. ❤

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  15. Allie, I don’t know of any updates, but I completely agree with you about the secrecy of the AZ mental health facility, the fact that Chris hasn’t sued the facility, etc. Very strange indeed.

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