A Disturbing Sermon on Death and Grief at North Coast Church Carlsbad

A troubling sermon was given at North Coast Church Carlsbad about death and dying. This blog would like to ask a question, why would anyone want to have their funeral at North Coast Church and subject their family members to trauma? After all didn’t Jesus say the grieving are blessed? 

“What we have once enjoyed deeply we can never lose. All that we love deeply becomes a part of us.”

Helen Keller

God blesses those who mourn, for they will be comforted.

Matthew 5:4 NLT

Death and loss is especially painful for anyone who was experienced the death of a loved one. This blog has been an outlet for me as I process the deaths of my parents in 2017 and 2018. Its still an emotional subject. But while I was going through that loss I am grateful that no one said the following to me when I was in an emotional state of despair. This comes from the Instagram, northcoastchurchabuse page.

 Two standout sermons were the initial causes of me leaving North Coast Carlsbad. The first was a night centered around grief and death. The speaker actually said these words. “When at a funeral don’t tell the family that the person who died is in a better place. Because you don’t know if they went to heaven or hell.” 


There are one main issue that bothers me with the above post What kind of church would not want to bring comfort to the grieving during such a hard time? Didn’t Jesus in the Beatitudes of the Sermon of the Mount say, “Blessed are those who mourn?” Why would a church not want to comfort those who mourn? And help them in their grief? Is it because grief is messy and evangelicalism likes perfection and a flashy show?

Then I want to make another quick observation that troubles me. Quite a  few evangelicals are caught up in hell. Now hear me out, I am not saying that it doesn’t exist.  But many evangelicals use hell to torture or torment people and it is dangled over their head. Honestly I think one day when we have all left this earth we will be surprised as to who is in heaven. I think there will be a lot of people that you see in evangelical churches who will be absent from heaven. And I think you will see some people in heaven that will surprise many people. Those who have been rejected, isolated, ignored, marginalized and more will be in heaven in greater numbers. This blog has been astounded in that its covered some dark topics and stories of abuse from evangelicalism and when I see what some people have done while “being in the Lord” their faith really reflects nothing in the end. Why would a person who could podcast Matt Chandler and Kevin DeYoung, go to church weekly and quote scripture yet be cruel, abusive and difficult be considered saved? And yet the doubter who struggles with faith is not? Or the alcoholic who has tried and struggles to stay sober. Isn’t the Gospel for those people? But evangelical culture has a lot of issues when it comes to death, I did a post a couple of years back on the topic of funerals that I would like to tie into this post. You can read it in, “In Dealing with My Mom’s Death, Amidst the Chaos of Modern Evangelicalism A Question: Where Will My Funeral Be One Day?” 

But why would a person want to have their funeral in North Coast Church especially if its going to bring trauma and pain to their surviving family members. I don’t understand that at all. 

3 thoughts on “A Disturbing Sermon on Death and Grief at North Coast Church Carlsbad

  1. Then I want to make another quick observation that troubles me. Quite a few evangelicals are caught up in hell.

    I think the word you’re looking for is “OBSESSED”.

    Just like Evangelicals are obsessed with Pelvic Issues(TM), so are they also obsessed with Hell.
    (Including End Times, Great Tribulation, and Being Left Behind(TM).)

    At which point, the rules of OCD come into effect.

    Now hear me out, I am not saying that it doesn’t exist. But many evangelicals use hell to torture or torment people and it is dangled over their head.

    At which point, we move from Obsession to Weaponization.

    “If you can’t love them into The Kingdom, SCARE ‘EM INTO THE KINGDOM!”
    (Which synergizes with another OCD: “Soul Winning(TM)”. “A-B-C” — “Always Be Closing” that sale.)


  2. I came here for something else and stumbled on this post and just wanted to send some feedback on funeral services at North Coast. My family has had two funerals here, the first one I attended for my cousin when I was in high school, the second was earlier this year for my brother, my sisters and I planned the whole thing. North Coast was nothing but helpful and gracious on both occasions.


  3. I also prefer to be reserved about what I say in the context of funerals when I don’t know the salvation status of the deceased. You should already be reserved in what you say to someone who is grieving, since it’s so easy to say the wrong thing and stick your foot in your mouth. But that said, there are plenty of true things that one can say. I’m sorry for your loss, I’m praying for you, how are you doing, let me know if you want to talk, here’s a happy memory I have of the deceased. Depending on context/need you could say, I’ve had a good experience with a grief share group, or God empathizes and grieves with you. If I don’t know, I don’t even like to ask if they were a believer, because if the answer is no then the grieving person feels worse.


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