An Open Letter to Mega Church Pastor, Or is it Home Church Pastor?

A brief open letter to mega church pastor on Twitter. Or should we call him home church pastor? This is a response to a Tweet that he fired off. Play with the piranha at your own risk  you moron.

“All morons hate it when you call them a moron.”

J.D. Salinger 

 

Mega-

I have to tell you something, and I am going to let you in on a little secret. In the Sovereign Grace Ministry scandal Eric Simmons from Covenant Life Church attacked bloggers. He said that all bloggers live in their mothers basements and sit around in their underwear. So let me tell you about some of the logistics at The Wondering Eagle. Yes I am typing this from my Mom’s basement. And yes I am sitting around in my underwear thinking of how to respond to you. 

Here’s the problem mega church pastor. Can we even call you mega church pastor? How about small group master? But you radiate sexiness with that bald head of yours. You know how many churchgoers bite their fist when they think of a sermon by you. Honestly there’s one or two out of a thousand. But even Charles Manson had his groupies when he was in prison in California. So I think its a zero sum game. But you know what would be sexy mega church pastor? How about you in a home church setting posing with a butter knife? That would be sexier than seeing your smoking hot wife on the back of a Harley Davidson. So can you do a home group picture with that twinkle in your eyes while holding a butter knife? Then let’s do church…

Punk…you’re in my agenda. I can’t help it that a once in a lifetime pandemic hit and that I am writing heavily about that it. Steve Huston was your bitch once. I know you need a new bitch that would do your diabolical deeds and corruption. But you have to look elsewhere. Punk…you need to get a life. There is more to life than fleecing people. But I think for you that is all you will be. Moron!  

David Bonner

BTW- No planting porn on people’s computers. 

5 thoughts on “An Open Letter to Mega Church Pastor, Or is it Home Church Pastor?

  1. Wow! I thought i was the only one that was a pro at sarcasm. Get down witch ya bad self!

    This is an old time Main event cage match between Jesse Ventura vs. PLAYBOY BUDDY ROSE moment (Portland, Oregon pro wrestling circa 1970’s). When do tickets go on sale? I want to reserve ring side seats!!

    Ed Chapman

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  2. TWISTED SISTER? AAAAAAAUGH!!! AAAAAAAUGH!!!

    Back in 1984 when I got my first cable hookup, I switched onto MTV for the music videos (remember them?) And got sick of it within days because of their playlist. TWISTED SISTER after TWISTED SISTER after TWISTED SISTER, four or five times every HOUR round the clock.

    I pulled all-nighters on USA’s Night Flight every Friday for a year or two afterwards.

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    • HUG,

      Funny you should say that. When I was in the US Navy, stationed in Japan, we were out to sea more times than in port, but at the time that I was in port in 1985, Twisted Sister was the ONLY concert I had an opportunity to attend. NHK Hall, Tokyo. Loved them. We’re Not Gonna Take It was the Enlisted Rank’s theme song for a while.

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