Perry Stone on What do you do With Twelve Tons of Animal Crap on the Ark Every Day?

A charismatic pastor known for speaking in tongues while being on his cell phone took on the issue of how much crap was generated on the ark. Perry Stone of Cleveland, Tennessee said that Noah and his family spent each day shoveling twelve tons of animal crap. Once again the  problems of fundamentalism are on display.

“The objective of education is to prepare the young to educate themselves throughout their lives.

Robert Maynard Hutchins

But God remembered Noah and all the beasts and all the livestock that were with him in the ark. And God made a wind blow over the earth, and the waters subsided. The fountains of the deep and the windows of the heavens were closed, the rain from the heavens was restrained, and the waters receded from the earth continually. At the end of 150 days the waters had abated,

Genesis 8:1-4 ESV

In the movie Jurassic Park there is a scene with a sick triceratops that is on the ground in labored breathing. The scientist played by Laura Dern thinks the dinosaur might be eating something that is making it sick. In order to see if its true she needs to examine the dinosaur’s droppings. Then in the next scene Jeff Goldblum walks up on a large pile of droppings and says, “That is one big pile of shit…”  So why am I telling you this? Well it’s due to something that a fundamentalist said about animal droppings recently.

 

Perry Stone on Twelve Tons of Animal Droppings on the Ark

Perry Stone is a charismatic personality known for speaking in tongues while doing it in his cell phone. He is a controversial figure. He started preaching before elementary school and has a charismatic ministry that broadcasts to 249 countries. He also claims to have foretold the destruction of the World Trade Center, George W Bush becoming president, the Supreme Court deciding the 2000 election and the death of Osama Bin Ladin. Through his ministry he pulled in nearly twelve million dollars in donations. If you would like to learn more about him you can do so in this Chattanooga Free Press article here

The other day in defense of a literal version of the ark Perry Stone said something that is quite outrageous. This happened while in the Golan Heights.  He said that on the ark the animals generated twelve tons of animal droppings each day. In order to deal with it Noah and his family worked hard at shoveling the crap through a window on the side of the boat. This was done by the entire family of Noah each day. There is a video and more which you can read about at The Friendly Atheist

 

The Problem with Fundamentalism Explained 

To quite from Jurassic Park twelve tons is one big pile of shit. Twelve tons of it. Each and every day. Here is the problem with what is being said. This highlights the problems of fundamentalism. When people take such a literal stand it forces them to defend the outrageous and ridiculous. As the claims become irregular then you are stuck defending them. When you are painted into a corner it forces you to defend the ludicrous. The hostility to science and the literal take on the flood puts many in a difficult position. I mean look at it, I am writing about twelves tons of animals shit because some feel like they have to defend a literal interpretation. If that is going to be the case can one ask if Noah and his family had to deal with dysentery and other illnesses from constant exposure to animal droppings? These problems could be solved by classical thinking and critical thinking skills. However, will that happen? Probably not. So expect to hear about twelve tons of animal shit regularly from Perry Stone. Oh and send him money he needs a bigger house while we’re at it. 

 

2 thoughts on “Perry Stone on What do you do With Twelve Tons of Animal Crap on the Ark Every Day?

  1. Of course Noah and his family had dysentery! They had to carry all the diseases, and all the parasites too! If they took every living thing on the ark, as the book says, then that included the guinea worms, the malaria flukes, the hookworms, the botflies, and every kind of pest, disease, and bacteria that plague us. So this family who could supposedly move 12 tons of crap a day, and provide all the food and water that produced the 12 tons of crap, would also have been constantly ill themselves. (Unless the creationists are going to claim that all those diseases evolved later? Can’t imagine that.)

    It amazes me the mental hoops people will jump through rather than accept that their book contains some myth and folklore.

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  2. Perry Stone is a charismatic personality known for speaking in tongues while doing it in his cell phone.

    Weirdness Warning right off the bat.

    He also claims to have foretold the destruction of the World Trade Center, George W Bush becoming president, the Supreme Court deciding the 2000 election and the death of Osama Bin Ladin.

    Those are all from several years ago.

    Just like psychic predictions, you want documentation that he Prophesied that BEFORE it happened. All too often, the Prediction/Prophecy surfaces AFTER the event and is only CLAIMED to have been Revealed before the event.

    Makes me wonder what he’s prophesying about these days…

    He said that on the ark the animals generated twelve tons of animal droppings each day. In order to deal with it Noah and his family worked hard at shoveling the crap through a window on the side of the boat.

    He’s the first Ark-ologist I’ve heard who actually tackled that question. The usual workaround I heard in-country was “And Then A(nother) Miracle Happened” where God put all the animals into some sort of suspended animation for the duration. Not sure how he came up with the “twelve tons each day” amount, though. That also implies (on the other end) twelve tons of feed consumed each day (with all the storage and logistics that involves).

    This reminds me of several Foot-in-Mouth Moments:
    1) Medieval Angelology and Demonology, where theologians calculated out every angel and demon in existence, classified by Choir (order/rank) down to their individual names. (Never mind how many could stand on the head of a pin.)
    2) Jenkins and LaHaye (of Left Behind fame) calculating that 200 million would be killed all at once in the Battle of Armageddon because that is how many bodies would be needed to supply enough blood to fill the Valley of Jezreel “to the horses’ bridles”. LaHaye actually said “We did the math”. (And they weren’t the first; I remember radio preachers claiming exactly the same during the End Times Obsession of the Age of Hal Lindsay.)
    3) I observed a more generic version of this over 40+ years in various fandoms, where you find obsessive geekery over some minor thing. (“Can’t change his mind and won’t change the subject.”) Seems to be connected to Hyperfocus on the low end of the Autism Spectrum. From websites dedicated to hyper-detailed analysis of a one-shot minor character from Chip & Dale’s Rescue Rangers to details of the gay scene in the world of My Little Pony to one gamer I used to know who used to phone me up to describe in great detail exactly how such-and-such an event in the news would trigger Global Thermonuclear War within the week. (Not that different from a Rapture Ready type seeing signs of The End everywhere, an experience I’ve also had more than I ever wanted to…)

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