Yesterday August 20 was my Mom’s birthday. Her second one after her death. Yesterday was a hard day for the family. From California to the Washington, D.C. area all of us struggled with the anniversary.
“My life is like a stroll upon the beach,
As near the ocean’s edge as I can go”
Henry David Thoreau
Yesterday was my Mom’s birthday. It was a day I dreaded as I knew it would be another reminder of Mom’s death. My family had a hard day. Unlike what I usually have done in the past there was no phone-call home and no card to send. And midday I felt compelled to call Mom but just could not. I retreated and went into a private area and cried. My family marked the birthday by going to the cemetery and putting flowers on Mom’s grave. The pictures were sent to me and I had a million emotions going through me. Yesterday evening I was sitting in my car reflecting on how Dad used to get Mom a black bottom pie from Baskin Robbins. Since I go regularly to the gym and have given up sugar as I am working at losing more weight, all the sudden I just had this craving for that black bottom pie, and the celebrations that used to happen. So what I did was go to Baskin Robbins and have an ice cream cone and wish Mom a happy birthday. It sucked and was not the same. And it felt weird by comparison. This entire situation feels like a dream. I keep wondering will I wake up one day?