Jordan and Tali Kaufln’s son is dealing with a leukemia relapse. Jordan Kauflin is one of the pastors at Redeemer Arlington and the one I interacted with in my spiritual abuse mess. In this post I explain how spiritual abuse popped up in my Mom’s medical crisis. Now the tables are turned and its the Kauflin family dealing with this problem set. Against all this I actually extended an olive branch to Redeemer Arlington, that olive branch was ultimately ignored.
“I don’t believe you ever get closure on anything. Things leave a permanent mark on you.”
Look on my suffering and deliver me,
for I have not forgotten your law.
Psalm 119:153 NIV
In 2014 and 2015 when I was trying to resolve my spiritual abuse mess from Redeemer Arlington and the effects of the false accusation I told Jordan something very pointed. In an email (IIRC) I explained that this mess had to be resolved because one never knows what could happen down the road. You can read about the greater issues that happened in, “Unless You Experience Spiritual Abuse Then You Won’t Understand How Painful it is.” Its best to get it done right and properly so that the problem is dealt with. At the time in 2014 and 2015 I had no idea that this would be validated by my Mom’s terminal illness and death in early 2017. As I dealt with the effects of the false accusation it just hung over my life. Through a false accusation triggered by someone who Jordan Kauflin disicpled I learned from a military officer why rape and sexual abuse is a problem in the military. In late 2016 my Mom’s health declined and I came home for Christmas and discovered a full fledged medical crisis. Since the effects of the false accusation were not mitigated I was looking for a new job to have a fresh start as well. During one of my visits home I was with my Mom in the hospital room. My Mom was having a hard time and often in pain. She also had delusions from some of the medicine she was on and the stress of the medical crisis. At one point when my Mom was lucid she expressed concern about the difficulty I was having in getting another job. Considering what was said, and what my Mom was worried about I later blew. This spiritual abuse situation from Redeemer Arlington had no business popping up there. After my Mom’s death I was tempted to meet with Jordan Kauflin and inquire face to face, do you folks at Redeemer Arlington believe that a loved one has the right to die in peace? Or must your warped theology also steal that from my life also? You can read about the spiritual abuse entering my Mom’s hospital room in, “Was Redeemer Arlington Removed From McLean Bible’s New City Network? The Wondering Eagle Asks Why? Plus how Spiritual Abuse from Redeemer Affected My Mother and Popped up in Her Hospital Room When She was Ill.”
Jordan and Tali Kauflin’s Son Jack’s History with Leukemia, and a Relapse
In the 2010 time frame Jack who was two years old was diagnosed with leukemia. The leukemia was one of the “best” ones to get as treatment and recovery looked good. The news about the recovery would be known definitely three years down the road. All this information Bob Kauflin wrote about in the following blog post, “Leading in the Midst of Trials.” At Redeemer Arlington the congregation heard about the situation and news was shared. Keep in mind that this happened during a time in which Redeemer was still a part of Sovereign Grace Ministries and people inside Sovereign Grace worship their pastors and often deify them. I have no doubt that this information applies to Jordan Kauflin as well. Eventually in the course of time Jack responded to the treatment and things went well, and his leukemia went into remission.
My Reaction Upon Hearing About the Leukemia Diagnosis of Jack and an Olive Branch is Extended
Recently leukemia rocked my world in a way I never could have imagined. I have a close friend from my days of Campus Crusade for Christ at Fresno State. Eric was recently diagnosed with leukemia and is currently in Stanford Medical Center being treated for it. These past two to three weeks have consisted of a lot of texting to a friend and several phone calls where he is telling me what is going on. You can read about this situation with Eric in, “With a Leukemia Diagnosis Please Keep Eric Pauls and His Family in Your Prayers During this Time.”
So when I heard about the leukemia with Jordan and Tali’s son I felt sick. I felt sick to my stomach. I have dealt with a lot of illness and loss in my personal life. Now here was this situation that also raised in my mind. The tables have turned, now its the Kauflin’s dealing with pain and suffering. They are the ones dealing with disease and illness. For me it raised a question in my mind. Do I want to be writing hard hitting and deeply critical articles about Jordan Kauflin and Redeemer especially if problems develop? Redeemer Arlington largely let their spiritual abuse pop up in my Mom’s medical crisis. When Jordan Kauflin reached out once during the crisis I was upset because I thought of what was communicated in the 2014 and 2015 time frame. But in this case we are also talking about a relapse which is more complicated. I wrestled with this and felt sick so on May 27, 2019 at 12:38 in the morning I sent Jordan Kaulfin as well as Eric Simmons the following email.
The other day I heard that your son has leukemia. When I read the note I felt sick to my stomach. I just wanted to communicate my best wishes and support during this news that you are your family are processing. Sadly, I know more then I care to about medical illnesses and pain. I watched both my parents deal with medical illnesses and sadly their passing in the hospital. I am still wrestling with the situation and trying to absorb it all. Often times I feel like its a dream and I will wake up one day and life will be normal.
In the case of your son please know that I am rooting for you guys. This news of his leukemia sadly corresponded with news from a friend of mine in California who was diagnosed with leukemia. I knew him from Campus Crusade for Christ at Fresno State. He told me in a phone call that his ankles were inflamed and that he went to the doctor who suspected leukemia. He’s 41, happily married and has two kids. In the phone call from his hospital room he told me he wants to see his kids grow up. Today he is at Stanford and we speak regularly. So that has been hard to process as well.
When my Dad first was diagnosed with a brain tumor in 2012 it was challenging. Yet in a dark time we had friends, relatives, neighbor and people in my Dad’s medical profession who reached out to support us. Honestly we even had total strangers that reached out and asked if we needed help. It stunned my family and deeply impacted us.
So I am just here wishing you and your family the best. If you need anything during this difficult time let me know and I would be willing to help. Again I am so sorry, I wouldn’t want anyone to deal with leukemia. Not a child, not an adult no one. You and your family will be in my thoughts and I am hoping for the best. Please let me know if you need anything Jordan.
Please take care and again my deepest sympathy,
That was also followed by a response to a Tweet Jordan Kauflin sent out.
Now if you read the email that I sent there was a lot of room. It could be interpreted in a lot of different ways. I wrote it in a very purposeful manner. In the process I also realized that this could be an olive branch. The truth of the matter is that I do not enjoy writing some of these posts about Redeemer. Digging and researching and more is not fun. Its challenging but its not something that gives me pleasure if I am honest about it. Yet in the case of Redeemer Arlington what happened when I extended an olive branch? Was it accepted? Was it processed? Or was it ignored? The olive branch that I sent was ultimately ignored by Redeemer Arlington. While there is a lot that I can say, for now I will let it rest. Maybe in a later post I will write about what it means when an olive branch is ignored, and the decision by some to just dig in and continue conflict. But for now I will leave it as is….