Reflecting on a Controversial Mark Driscoll Sermon About how a Repentant Woman Gets on Her Knees and Performs Oral Sex

A brief look at a controversial sermon Mark Driscoll gave in Edinburgh, Scotland on November 18, 2007. Mark spoke about oral sex and shared a story of how a repentant woman performed oral sex on her husband to get him to go to church at Mars Hill Seattle.

“And her vagina, he says, is like a glass of fine wine that‘s opened up. You men need to know this, you single men don‘t, but you married men need to know that when a woman is ready for lovemaking, like a flower she blooms. It‘s beautiful. She opens. And what happens is, the color of her vagina and of her lips they redden, they darken as blood flows into that area, preparing for marital intimacy. And what he says is, as she‘s dancing, ―Oh, you‘ve bloomed.‖ And it‘s like a wonderful glass of wine. It‘s that color and it‘s that taste.”

Mark Driscoll

“The dance of mah haneim was an ancient strip tease. This is the biblical justification for stripping, in marriage only. Put those qualifiers in there. Satan did not invent stripping. It‘s something that God intends his daughters to do and his sons to enjoy in marriage only. How many of you women, I don‘t need a show of hands, have not stripped enough for your husband?”

Mark Driscoll

As an apple tree among the trees of the forest,
    so is my beloved among the young men.
With great delight I sat in his shadow,
    and his fruit was sweet to my taste.

Song of Solomon 2:3 ESV

Mark Driscoll

The story about how a man came to Mars Hill because of oral sex is 24:17 in the sermon. 

I want to document and capture a very controversial sermon that was given by Mark Driscoll in 2007 over in Edinburgh, Scotland. Some people may ask, why write about it in 2019? It happened 12 years ago now. Well two reasons to mention. First of all Mark Driscoll is preaching and involved in evangelicalism at The Trinity City Church in Scottsdale, Arizona. Second is that this blog writes about the EFCA. One of the people who helped launch Mark Driscoll and give him legitimacy after the implosion of Mars Hill Seattle is Larry Osborne. Larry Osborne is a popular EFCA pastor who leads a church called North Coast Church which is north of San Diego, California. You can read about the relationship between Larry Osborne and Mark Driscoll in, “Why is the Evangelical Free Church of America (EFCA) Silent on Larry Osborne’s Strong Support for Mark Driscoll and The Trinity Church? Does the EFCA Also Believe Women are Penis Homes?” Early in 2018 Mark Driscoll’s church hosted Larry Osborne, you can read about that in, “Mark Driscoll’s The Trinity Church is Hosting Larry Osborne on January 16, 2018. Does the EFCA Take the Issue of Spiritual Abuse Seriously?” Right before writing this post I did some research on Larry Osborne and The Trinity Church. As of now I don’t even see the council of advisers listed on the website. The goal of this post is to preserve this material for people who are inquiring about Mark Driscoll. 


Song of Solomon and Oral Sex 

When Mars Hill was in the process of becoming an empire an empire in Seattle Mark Driscoll traveled over to Edinburgh, Scotland and gave a talk at Destiny Church Edinburgh. Destiny was founded by Peter Anderson. The talk was given on November 18, 2007. Mark started out the sermon by saying he could speak on one of three topics. Those were God’s heart for Edinburgh, or believing Jesus as God or sexuality in the Song of Solomon. The crowd responded (you can listen to it up above) and Driscoll spoke about sex. 

This is a condensed version of the sermon that was given. What I am going to do is speak to the more outrageous material in the talk. Driscoll quote Song of Solomon 2:3 and used it to justify oral sex on a man. The man tastes sweet and Jesus supports oral sex. As oral sex is Biblical women are commanded to serve their husband. This is how Mark Driscoll described it. Mark Driscoll told a story of a woman who got her husband to go to church by giving her oral sex. She talked about her husband wanted oral sex. Mark Driscoll told her that she needed to repent got down on her knees and sexually service her husband. That is what a repentant woman does. Mark said the next week a man came to church and he said how much he loved this place. 

Oral sex on her husband. That as he stands, she likes to be beneath him and his taste is sweet. It is a euphemism for oral sex, in your Bible. The Jews wouldn‘t even let men read this until they were married or thirty. Now you know why. You‘ve got Jewish boys under the blankets at night with a candle. [Laughter from audience.] Men, I am glad to report to you that oral sex is biblical. Amen? [Minimal response from audience.] No, you can do better than that. [Laughter from audience] The wife performing oral sex on the husband is biblical. God‘s men said, Amen. Ladies, your husbands appreciate oral sex. They do. So, serve them, love them well. It‘s biblical. Right here. We have a verse. The fruit of her husband is sweet to her taste and she delights to be beneath him.

Mark Driscoll then spoke about how women should start their day. Especially if their husband wakes up with an erection. Instead of hitting the alarm they should service their man. Here is how Driscoll taught it. 

What I would say to you as well, ladies, I probably shouldn‘t, that most of your husbands wake up in the morning with an erection, and so rather than setting the alarm, if this was the way that you helped to awaken them, they would have a great day. Amen? I‘m actually saying these things. Some of you are sitting here going, ―Is this happening? Is this really happening?‖ Yes it is. [Laughter from audience.]

Mark Driscoll then moves on and speaks about a women’s orgasm. He quotes from Song of Solomon 2:6. He also spoke about a man holding a woman and masturbating her. This is exactly what the controversial pastor from Seattle said. 

And ladies, let me assure you of this. If you think you‘re being dirty, he‘s pretty happy.
[Laughter from audience] Our line is at different place. If the wife says, ―Is that dirty?‖ ―No, that‘s wonderful.‖ She says, in verse 6, ―His left arm is under my head, and his right arm embraces me.‖ She‘s asking here, in the Hebrew, for manual stimulation of her, probably of her clitoris. It‘s a part of the woman‘s anatomy that has one function, and that is orgasm. It has no other purpose, and it‘s a wonderful gift that God gives a woman. If you‘re a man and your married, you don‘t know where that is, repent and find it. Very important for you to do. But that‘s what she‘s asking, that he would hold her, and that he would caress her, and that he would manually stimulate her, that he would masturbate her. She‘s asking for that. Women, it is okay to ask for such things. Isn‘t this a great book.

Later on he speaks about a woman’s vagina. He compares a woman’s vagina to a garden. Its abundant in smell and tastes well. A woman should invite her husband to perform oral sex on her. Again this is how Mark Driscoll described it. 

He explains her vagina as a garden. What a great metaphor. Again, it‘s frank but not crass. And he says that, ―Your vagina is a garden.‖ It has wonderful smells and it has wonderful tastes. It‘s a garden. . . . He talks about how much he loves her vagina. Many women feel awkward about this. The husband needs to tell the wife, ―It‘s beautiful. It tastes well. It smells well. You keep yourself well. I enjoy it. It‘s a garden to me.‖ So she says, upon hearing what he thinks of it, verse 16, ― . . . Let my lover come into his garden and taste – there‘s the key—his choice fruits!‖ She invites him to perform oral sex on her, the wife does. How many wives wish their husbands would do this, but the husbands don‘t? But the wives don‘t ask. Biblically, the wife has the right to ask. . . . And so she invites her husband to perform oral sex on her.

This sermon actually exploded on the internet. Mark Driscoll then worked at scrubbing it from all Mars Hill church sites and other churches that hosted this sermon. John MacArthur of Grace to You responded by doing a sermon series on how Mark Driscoll raped the Song of Solomon


Evangelicals, Control, and a Warped Mind in Mark Driscoll

This was one of the more controversial acts by Mark Driscoll. Mark was very obsessed with sex, and in the patriarchy culture of Mars Hill women were property of the man. For myself personally I don’t understand what the obsession many evangelicals have with sex. Yet Mark was deeply popular with a large number of evangelicals. What two consenting adults do in the privacy of their home is really no one’s business. For Mark Driscoll, he was all about control, and it s my belief that he stuck to sex as a topic because he could control the most intimate acts of a person. Through guilt, shame, manipulation and more can individuals be forced to do things they do not want to do? In the case of the female are they are forced to do sexual acts they do not want to do? For a man he could be coerced to pressure female to do things that he maybe he didn’t want to do? That is the disturbing aspect of Mark Driscoll, how many people have a warped view of sex because of what he proclaimed and encouraged. Mark Driscoll has a warped mind. Its my belief that these sermons that Mark Driscoll gave is really no different than pornography. Actually to be more specific its the evangelical equivalent of pornography. It allows people to be crude and unreserved and do what they want under the blessing of someone like Driscoll. That is the post for the day, I just wanted to capture and preserve this controversial sermon. 

12 thoughts on “Reflecting on a Controversial Mark Driscoll Sermon About how a Repentant Woman Gets on Her Knees and Performs Oral Sex

  1. Ah, yes.
    The unwanted look into another ManaGAWD’s sexual fantasies and kinks. Wasn’t the first and sure won’t be the last.

    And the reason he will always be “Deep Throat Driscoll” or “Bee Jay Driscoll” to me. I was surprised when he went down in a plagiarism/book-juicing scandal; I was sure he would end up self-destructing in yet another preacher sex scandal.

    Liked by 2 people

    • what sexual fantasies? Honeslty I don’t get this.

      Are you married??? does having intercourse or oral sex inside of marriage, and speaking biblically how we can view and understand that really count as sexual fantasies? If you have a wife and she had intercourse with you, and in a life group or small church group setting you talked with some people or a pastor about how that is affecting you or what have you… does that mean you can be called SEX-Obsessed-“Andy” or “Sex crazed Brian”?

      the hypocrisy on here is INSANE. my spouse and I came looking for some answers about sex and the scriptures and how to really understand some things and found this page (which fortunately led to his message) and we found it crazy informative and helpful. but we find the author here who attacks other Christian leaders, and people like yourself who leave comments without names likely more anti-Christian than Christian. crazy disappointing.

      What happens when we are called to love… and the bible says “love keeps no record of wrong” and we are called to forgive…. and Mark Publicly apologizes and accepts his faults and withdraws from leadership and seeks wise council for the right time until he is called back into successful ministry… are we still to bash and attached and demean and abuse his name? is that honestly what a Christian should be doing publicaly? will this post even be posted because you or the host dislike what i’m saying? can we even speak truth anymore as believers???


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  9. I need some help understanding things here. As the Bible isn’t my strong point.

    Females and males have orgasms
    both masturbate… difficult topic in church
    Christian married couples have sex, and oral sex
    Males in marriage have sexual desires.

    The bible covers all this in many ways. but ZERO pastors, speakers or conferences speak or talk on this subject… even though Sex is a gift and relationship with the spouse is a gift but many don’t know if there is a line or not with a spouse (myself included).

    Why is it wrong for him to talk about it? I know you are saying how he says it is crass (depending on your up bringing and strict up bringing or where you work or how your life style is I suppose this definition changes) You haven’t pointed out anywhere where he is dead wrong, or poorly interprets anything, you just seem aghast that he is even speaking about it… in church. So my question ultimately is why not? why can’t he speak on it, why can’t this be a discussion, he’s clearly doing his best to keep it scriptural, and very clear when he says its within the bonds of marriage…

    so what is the real issue? honestly just give me your train of thought on this as I want to understand why people shoot and attack other believers for pursuing part of the human condition and sexuality within the structure of marriage… I see this so rarely. so when I do I, as a married Christian man, appreciate these types of talks. but then I see people like you and McArthur cutting it up like we should have no conversations ever about our freedoms inside marital sexual relationship.


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