An Open Letter to Mega Church Pastor on Twitter (You’re Going to be Calling me a Moron Again Soon)

A brief open letter to Mega Church Pastor on Twitter. Don’t get comfortable punk. Your retirement will be short and soon you will be screaming at me again. In the near future you will be kicking my ass again on Twitter. 

“I’m like a bad penny, I always turn up.”

Attributed to Indiana Jones 

So now I am giving you a new commandment: Love each other. Just as I have loved you, you should love each other. 35 Your love for one another will prove to the world that you are my disciples.”

John 13:34-35 NLT 


Dear Mega Church Pastor-

Hands down in my book you are one of the best parody accounts on Twitter. You have brought humor and laughs to a dark situation. And I also must say this. In the story of Watergate people spent two generations wondering as to who Bob Woodward’s source Deep Throat was. That drama and intrigue will apply to you as well. When it comes to Harvest Bible Chapel, for the next two generations people will wonder, who from Harvest Bible Chapel ran the Mega Church Pastor account on Twitter? Was it Dallas Jenkins, Landon MacDonald, who? May we be kept in knots as we all try and figure out who you are and wonder. 

But I also have to say this to you punk. Sadly your retirement will be short. I predict a resurrection in the near future. I predict a comeback. And I predict that writers like myself and Warren Throckmorton will be kept busy for the long term. Why do I say that? I think of Mark Driscoll and C.J. Mahaney and how they have staged and tried to have their comeback. So sadly don’t get comfortable in retirement. One of these days you will be kicking my ass again on Twitter. One of these days you will be calling me a moron. And even now as the butter knives are down, their day is coming. As a narcissist you can’t resist the urge. You must be in the center of attention. One of these days from my mancave in the Washington, D.C. area I will hear this noise. It will come from a distance in the upper Midwest. It will be carried by the wind. But it will sound like a knife is being sharpened. When that happens I will know that your return is imminent. Your day is coming and you will keep me busy again. While I have my hopes punk for a long retirement. I also know the reality of the situation and how modern evangelicalism works. You’ll be back and I will be waiting. Enjoy your sabbatical moron! 


The Moron in D.C. 🙂 


One thought on “An Open Letter to Mega Church Pastor on Twitter (You’re Going to be Calling me a Moron Again Soon)

  1. It was an amazing account! And Stuart little too!! I’m very grateful to both and so many others. I think the 99 hours of recording might keep James away. We will see. I sure hope so!

    Liked by 1 person

Comments are closed.