Cleaning and a Surprise Memory

Cleaning my home I make a discovery that is emotional. It was to be a gift for my Mom in 2017 that I was unable to give her. This is a brief post of journaling my Mom’s death.  

“What we have once enjoyed we can never lose; all that we deeply lovebecomes a part of us.”

Helen Keller 

Mom and Dad

Earlier today I was cleaning in my place. I had some piles of paper in the hallway. So I sat down to go through them. At the bottom of the pile was something that I stumbled into that took my breath away. It was a gift that I had gotten for my Mom in 2017 while she was dealing with her illness. It was before I knew she would die. What had happened is that two years ago I was in Maryland and in a rural area. I came across a farm that was selling different types of homemade jam. I stopped there and saw some raspberry which Mom liked. So I picked up several jars and brought it with me home. My Mom’s health declined and I dropped everything to go back to California and help out. I forgot to bring them due to how sudden the last trip was to California. To my shock and horror on April 1, 2017 in the I.C.U Mom died before me. When I eventually came back to the D.C. area I after Mom’s death I found those and put them below some papers. I was too distraught to see them. They were a gift I was never able to give to my Mom. Well this morning I found them again and stared at them. They had to go but I shed a tear at knowing that I will never be able to give this, like many other gifts to my Mom. Mom I love you. I miss you.