An open letter to my Mom on the anniversary of my last trip home to see her. I love and miss my Mom. For a child to lose his Mom is so difficult. Death has permanently changed the family. I love you Mom, I will always love you.
“Grief is like the ocean; it comes on waves ebbing and flowing. Sometimes the water is calm, and sometimes it is overwhelming. All we can do is learn to swim.”
Today is the anniversary of the final trip home I made to see you. The anniversary of your death is over a week away and I dread that day. I still remember sitting in Dulles waiting to board the plane. You had gone into the hospital two days prior and I decided I had to fly back home to California again to see you and help you out. Do you remember how you reacted when you saw me in the hospital? I do… you turned and smiled at me when I walked into your hospital room. I still remember how you lit up when you saw me. Losing you Mom has been so hard. I miss your voice, your text messages and interacting with you. I miss you so much. Mom I would trade all that I have to be able to talk with you again and hug you.
The other day I was driving around in my car and I was listening to Lion King. Do you remember how we say that in Chicago in 2003 or so? I still recall having dinner with you and Dad. Remember you told me that I needed to lose more weight. I was upset, today I would be delighted to hear that from you. You enjoyed Lion King as it was one of your favorite Broadway musicals. When I listen to the soundtrack you pop up in my mind. The other day I wept in the car thinking of you after I was listening to the soundtrack while driving around Washington, D.C. There is one song in particular that reminds me of you. Its called “He Lives in You.” Its a reminder to me that you are around in ways I do not yet know. You are my Mom, and as such my link with you will never be severed – even in death. Just as I promised you at your wake we are taking care of Dad, and in a couple of months we are taking him to New Orleans. Today I need to write this to you and get this off my chest. I love you Mom, I will always love you.