I Miss you Mom

An open letter to my Mom on the anniversary of my last trip home to see her. I love and miss my Mom. For a child to lose his Mom is so difficult. Death has permanently changed the family. I love you Mom, I will always love you. 

“Grief is like the ocean; it comes on waves ebbing and flowing. Sometimes the water is calm, and sometimes it is overwhelming. All we can do is learn to swim.”

Vicki Harrison

Mom-

Today is the anniversary of the final trip home I made to see you. The anniversary of your death is over a week away and I dread that day. I still remember sitting in Dulles waiting to board the plane.  You had gone into the hospital two days prior and I decided I had to fly back home to California again to see you and help you out. Do you remember how you reacted when you saw me in the hospital? I do… you turned and smiled at me when I walked into your hospital room. I still remember how you lit up when you saw me. Losing you Mom has been so hard. I miss your voice, your text messages and interacting with you. I miss you so much. Mom I would trade all that I have to be able to talk with you again and hug you. 

The other day I was driving around in my car and I was listening to Lion King. Do you remember how we say that in Chicago in 2003 or so? I still recall having dinner with you and Dad. Remember you told me that I needed to lose more weight. I was upset, today I would be delighted to hear that from you. You enjoyed Lion King as it was one of your favorite Broadway musicals. When I listen to the soundtrack you pop up in my mind. The other day I wept in the car thinking of you after I was listening to the soundtrack while driving around Washington, D.C. There is one song in particular that reminds me of you. Its called “He Lives in You.” Its a reminder to me that you are around in ways I do not yet know. You are my Mom, and as such my link with you will never be severed – even in death. Just as I promised you at your wake we are taking care of Dad, and in a couple of months we are taking him to New Orleans. Today I need to write this to you and get this off my chest. I love you Mom, I will always love you. 

Love forever, 

David